I hope your all living safe and well! Today I want to discuss a MAHOOSIVE problem when concerning mental health issues in today’s world. It’s the whole issue where people think you’ve not been working hard for what you get. Effectively suggesting you should be able to cope and work super hard like everyone else.
To start my thoughts on this, I want you to ask yourself: what do you consider as ‘working hard’?
Does working hard mean working a large amount of hours in the week (and if so, how many…)? Does it mean not getting any holidays? Does it mean getting a certain amount of words written in a day? Does it mean physical work or mental? Does it mean working a lot without great remuneration? Does it mean building a sweat whilst doing it? Does it mean emotionally draining you to the point you cannot mentally cope with any more? Does it mean succeeding in something whilst coping with other external factors?
Well, my thoughts are these: ‘working hard’ is a myth people use to degrade other people’s efforts who they believe is less than them.
But this is a big problem most people with mental illness will face at least once in their life time. And I’m here to tell you, your opinions on what ‘working hard’ is, can seriously affect a person. I know people without mental health issues also face this problem, when you’ve been working hard but your friends or family haven’t seen it or don’t understand it. They then tell you that you should be doing what they do because that is considered working hard to them. They might well be working hard, but it doesn’t mean to say that what you’re doing is any less trying or emotional.
The effects of this kind of stigma/ignorance can be mentally destructive for both those with and without mental health issues, but for someone with them that is likely trying really damn hard to even do the things you’d consider everyday and normal, it can be disastrous, even life threatening.
It sounds stupid doesn’t, something as little as your opinion on what ‘working hard’ is, effecting others to the point they could potentially hurt themselves over it. But it does. It’s not stupid. It happens every single day. But people still aren’t seeing the connection to what they’ve said about a person being lazy or less than them has, to someone committing suicide.
It’s really not that hard to understand, but people drop these nasty little comments into conversations all the time. Some people even kid themselves into thinking they are trying to help the person do better for themselves. But you’re not, your only making them feel even less adequate.
Things people say:
- Why don’t you just do what I do, if I can do it, why can’t you?
- I never see you doing any work, what do you even do with your time?
- All your problems come down to the fact you’re not working hard enough, your just lazy.
- Why don’t you bother trying?
- Their’s nothing wrong with you. Just get on with it.
1..First of all, not everyone is the same. Some people can’t do what you do, you know why? THEY AREN’T YOU.
2..How much work they do isn’t really up to you to decide, you may not see them do anything, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t. Just skip straight to ‘What have you been up to?’
3..Again you have no idea how hard a person is working. So just shut your mouth.
4..I actually have an answer to this one. Why would anyone bother trying if all their going to receive are comments about how even then, they aren’t trying. I know I wouldn’t bother.
5..I can’t believe I even have to talk about that last one, but it’s necessary. UNLESS YOU ARE A PSYCHIC, YOU HAVE NO IDEA IF THEIRS SOMETHING WRONG WITH SOMEONE. Not even doctors always get this one right, so who the hell do you think you are to know whether someones ill and trying or not. Simple answer to this is, just don’t say it, don’t even think it. But if you can’t help yourself from thinking it, keep your ignorant opinion to yourself. We have enough negativity to deal with, most of us are in denial of our problems anyway, so don’t make it harder for those people with a mental illness to come to terms with it.
That one silly little opinion can make someone feel so small, so worthless. What is more important to you, your opinion on whether someone is working hard enough or the mental stability of the person your saying it to?
So yeah, next time when your thinking of saying something along those lines…don’t. It’s not hard.
If we can start changing this idea, and really think about what we’re saying, maybe fewer people in the world would die from crippling emotional pain, caused by other people’s ignorance.
Well, I feel better for letting that time bomb off. Thanks for reading and remember, don’t be a twat.